Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Can we start again please?

This is me starting over, starting fresh. I'm not going to go back and delete everything but from here on out it's a brand new start.

I'm Layni. I'll be 22 in a month, I have the most amazing 4 year old daughter, life has had it's up's and down's but I'm hanging in there. My favorite color is blue, I love sitting and watching the sunrise/set with a journal and a cup of tea, my God is my strength. I'm just trying to make it in this world.

I say I pride myself on commitment. My inability to keep this blog up has proven otherwise, as does the fact I haven't even stayed with the same job for a year. Though, next month I will be changing that. Even keeping up a workout plan seems to get lost after a month. It doesn't matter how excited I am or want to keep up with it, it just kind of pans out. I would blame this on the bipolar, my quickness to be excited and the quick onset of apathy. Bipolar is not a crutch though and it will not be one for me. This is my vow to stick with something. It may not be this exactly, but it will be journaling somewhere.

This is also me starting fresh. Starting over from my baggage of the past year. My fiancé left me, 2 weeks after I moved to a different city to live with him, 2 months before the wedding date. The day before my nonreturnable wedding dress came in. This is me letting go of that. I refuse to be crushed by the weight and despair that it made me feel. I will grow and learn from it. It will not defeat me.

This is me becoming the mother and person I want to be. No more excuses. It's time I made an effort to be someone I'm proud of.

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