Life turned upside down

My fiancé decided he wants a "break" from our relationship. This was 2 weeks ago. He took back the ring and had me move out. Life isn't being very easy on him but I'm so lost and confused. I haven't seen him in 2 weeks and we've barely talked. He won't say he misses me or anything, but he is going to come over next Sunday. I know God is working on his heart and I need to trust in Him more. But this is literally killing me.

So here I am

So I have been gone for the longest time. i really didn't think I'd be back but I think blogging is kind of good for me, it at least lets me release everything. While I've been gone I got engaged, went to Africa, turned 21, and became a preschool teacher. A lot has gone on. But it's whats happening recently that made me want to come back.

 My soon to be father in law has cancer. Really really bad cancer (like theres a good kind anyway.) But everything is up in the air right now, no one is too optimistic but we're hoping God will make a miracle happen. Due to this we are postponing the wedding, which of course broke my heart. It's only 3 months away and everything is taken care of and paid for. But it's very important for his dad to make it and enjoy himself.

So I'm trying to be understanding, though I want to just go to the jp and get the paper signed. I need my husband and I need to be a wife. I need a family. Now I'm getting worried it won't ever happen though, I know if we can make it through this we can make it through anything. I just have no way to relate so I don't know how to be there for him, trust me I am trying. But, he is also isolating himself and pushing me away. I just feel so lost, there's nothing I can do. I keep thinking if we just get married everything will be okay but I also now I can't push that subject. All of this is taking such an emotional toll on him, which is what's worrying me. I'm worried he'll decide that it's just all too much and ask me to leave, permanently.

Prayers, words of encouragement, or anything at all is appreciated.

About me: Melody style

So Melody turned 3 at the very beginning of March and I've been so busy I completely forgot to make her "about me" picture! So I finally did it tonight! Though I just realized I forgot to add her favorite song.... And it may be tiny bit hard to read but I am not very Photoshop savvy yet, definitely hoping to get a lot better with it!

InstaFriday!

I got Melody Merida's bow and arrow from the Disney store last week and we finally decided to try it out since warmer weather is finally starting to come! She's still a little small for it and doesn't quite get but she still loves it and I think with some practice she'll be getting it down.

Melody started sports class this week! It was a little difficult, only one other student who did not want to participate and it was in the middle of nap time. Overall I would say it was successful though! Melody started with t-ball where we learned she's a left handed batter! She does everything else with her right hand so this was fun to learn. She got to practice hitting the ball a bit and then played a music game while running the bases, I'm pretty sure that was her favorite. Next up she played some basketball! She got to stand on the dot and shoot some baskets and then practiced passing the ball with the other student and well, neither of them were very good at passing, but they tried and thats what counts! Last was some soccer! Melody got to make goals and even practiced a little bit of dribbling! We got to finish with some stretching! Which, she enjoyed since it was similar to things mommy does at jazzercise!

I keep Melody's stroller just sitting on the front porch, probably not the best place but eh, it works. So, some days when we get home from somewhere she just climbs right on up there ready for a walk, even if we just came home from jazzercise and mommy is tired.

My reception napkins came in!! Aren't they wonderful?? Too bad I ordered them before we cut down the invite list so we have 400 napkins and roughly 100 people to invite, at least we'll be able to use them after!

During the summer I had gotten an eye ulcer and haven't been able to wear contacts since. Apparently, this caused a large scar on my cornea which meant I may never be able to wear contacts again (lame!). So I had to go see a cornea specialist that told me I should be able to wear contacts! Though I cannot have LASIK but I may be able to get a PRK, the painful version of LASIK. Right now I'm just happy that I'll be able to wear contacts at my wedding!

Busy busy busy!

I have been so busy planning for the wedding! Who knew there was so much to get done?? But it's a blast and I love it. I have also learned just how wonderful Pinterest really is, check out my wedding board! We also had our engagement pictures taken last week which, I think, turned out wonderful!

Tell me all about your dream wedding!!

Why I haven't been posting...

I'M GETTING MARRIED!!

And since I'm no longer constantly dying from excitement I will hopefully start posting more soon!

Valentines Day!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day! I tried to make Melody a Valentine's Day dress, it didn't turn out like I wanted but it also didn't turn out too terrible.     

Ignore the lip, she tripped yesterday and of course hit the spot where her scar is. It bled A LOT and freaked me out, I did not want to take my baby back to the ER to get stitches but it ended up not being too bad.

We also got us some Tinkerbell wings! Tinkerbell has been our new favorite thing and I'm pretty sure we've watched the movie everyday since we've got it. The employees at the Disney store also know us by name and I'm not sure if thats a good thing or not but Melody is a favorite there!